


Keith and Lance: The Greatest Love Story

by mxlxvitx



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:00:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27714421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mxlxvitx/pseuds/mxlxvitx
Summary: “Hey Mullet!” Lance said bisexually.Keith glares at Lance. “Oh my goood, leave me alone Lance,” he grumbled exasperatedly, flipping his hair out of his violet eyes.“But look what I found, mi amor,” Keith wasn't sure what that last part meant, but decided not to ask, because it was probably an insult. Lance held up a rubber chicken with a red ribbon around it’s neck. “Just for you, mi vida.”
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 15





	Keith and Lance: The Greatest Love Story

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so I wrote this in like, 2017, probably at some point after Season 2, partially to take out my annoyance on certain aspects of the fandom, partially to poke fun at some general fandom tropes, and partially to entertain my friends. I have finally decided to publish it here so the wider world can enjoy the glory that is this fic. I could explain all the references/criticisms in here but I think it'll be funnier if people work them out on their own. Enjoy!
> 
> tw// brief mentions of anxiety and depression

Keith: 

Keith sat in his room, glaring down at the floor. 

It was time.

Out of one fanny pack, he pulled out his favorite cowboy hat, out of the other, his My Chemical Romance shirt. Other than his mysterious dagger, they were his most prized posesions. Keith sobbed into the shirt. His chest hurt with longing for his love, Lance. 

But Lance, would never love someone like him. 

Keith started to sing quietly:

_ When ya go _

_ Would ya even turrn ta say _

_ I don' love ya  _

_ Like I did _

_ Yest’rday _

His Texan-Korean tears ran down his face, he couldn't pine for Lance any longer. There was only one solution. He would have to completely ignore and deny his feelings for the Cuban boy.

***

Lance Pov: 

Lance wandered around the castle, trying to find a gift for Keith. There wasn't much, given that they were in a spaceship, billions of light years from home. Lance was reminded of how far away he was from home, and he gazed longingly out into space. All the stars, yet none of them was his sun. Lance sighed angstily, and continued on his hunt. His azure orbs were filled with tears.

Occasionally, random Earth stuff could be found in corners of the ship, conveniently written in for plot purposes, because the writer is too lazy to come up with creative alien versions of such objects.

_ Speak of the devil _ , thought Lance, somehow knowing what the narration of his scene said. He saw a rubber chicken. A beautiful, bright yellow rubber pollo (that means chicken in Cuban i used google translate ok?) with a red bow around its neck. 

Perfect, Keith would love this.

The chicken reminded him of home as well. he gazed down at it.

“Maybe one day, I'll see a real chicken. I'll get to go to Varadero Beach with my 38 cousins, and see the ocean again. I'll get to go swimming, pretend I'm Haru Nanase from my favorite anime Free!( I’m such a weeb haha, thought Lance), and get to feel the sun on my face. 

***

Keith POV:

“Hey Mullet!” Lance said bisexually.

Keith glares at Lance. “Oh my goood, leave me alone Lance,” he grumbled exasperatedly, flipping his hair out of his violet eyes.

“But look what I found,  _ mi amor, _ ” Keith wasn't sure what that last part meant, but decided not to ask, because it was probably an insult. Lance held up a rubber chicken with a red ribbon around it’s neck. “Just for you,  _ mi vida _ .”

Keith knew this was all a metaphor to show that Lance thought he was a chicken. He might not understand most cultural references and idioms, but he knew what calling someone a chicken meant. Lance thought he was weak. Since Keith was a fragile sowft boi uwu, he was really hurt by Lances bad words.

Keith pulled a knife out of his hair, and flung it straight at the chicken. He impaled it right at where the heart was. Keith liked that metaphor better. Lance gasped, then cursed in Cuban. 

“Omg Keith, ur so effing mean!” Lance said. “Everyone on this ship hates meee.”

Hunk walked in just as Lance said that. He looked at Lance. “Shut up, Hunk says to his best friend.”You aren’t good at anything and we do hate you”

“Yeah” said Shiro, Keith’s step-brother who isn’t gay,in a dad manner . “You’re the seventh wheel of our team. That time I called you a sharpshooter? I was just kidding. You suck”

“Yeah,” said Pidge, pushing their glasses up their nose. “You are a terrible Blue paladin. I wish you weren’t here. I wish Matt was here instead”

“Yeah”, said Allura. “I would be a better Blue paladin. You are just a replacement for Keith, Shiros step-brother.”

Tears welled in the brunettes oceanic spheres. Suddenly, Lance collapsed! He had DEPRESION and ANKCIETY.

oh shoot”, said the team, Putting Lance into a healing pod.

….

Keith POV:

“I can’t beleive you were struggling with this” said Keith. “But because I’m ur best boyfirend ever, I noticed now and completely missed any signs of prior mental illness in the past!”

“B-boyfriends?” stuttered Lance.

“Oh ya, I forgot. I’ve been in love with you since the Garrison but I’m a shy sowft boi and I was too nervous to conforont you.”

“Ok cool” Said Lance, cured of his mental illness because he was in love. “ I love having you be my boyfirend and having my mental state be dependent on your support.”

Then Lance and Keith smooch into the sun set.

~Fin~


End file.
